We get it. we’ve been there. and we can help.

Phyllis & Glenn’s Story

We met at a summer camp in the Carolina mountains at age 15 and 16 in 1978, then married at that same camp four years later. We were ill-prepared for marriage and our first five years were horrific, with continuous disconnection and pain.

How Connection Codes Started


I used to tell Phyllis, “I feel like I have a metal box in my chest, and you’re a magnet.” I was drawn to her, but the closer I got to her, the more it felt like my chest was going to explode and splatter my guts on the wall! I wanted to be with her, but I couldn’t stand being with her. For the record: This was a mutual feeling.


I spent most of my time hurting and clueless as to why we were continually at odds. I liked Glenn and wanted to be with him, but the constant turmoil and pain were exhausting.

Our second five years were not great, but we got a little help along the way and slowly began turning a large ship. Simultaneous with our relationship improving, our friends began divorcing. We always expected Susie and Eric to marry and have children. We did not expect them to marry, have children and then divorce.

Our passion for helping relationships did not begin with a business plan or mission statement but simply the desire to understand and help. After many years of questions, research, experience and education, we finally figured out what causes disconnection, and conversely what causes connection. Eventually we understood, based on science, what causes people to disconnect. We then realized that the converse is what causes people to connect. This is what grew and morphed into what we now call the Connection Codes.

We always believed there had to be something better than the continuous pain of our early years. We did not know we could experience such safety and joy, now that we are connected deeply every day. That is why we are so excited to be sharing the Connection Codes around the world!

We equip families, marriages, and individuals with the tools they need to create a powerfully connected life.

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November 20-21st          Minneapolis, MN

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