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The Essential Daily Practice to Nourish Your Mind-Body-Soul

by | Mar 15, 2021 | Latest Articles | 0 comments

A healthy mind-body-soul requires that we convey emotion, meet needs, set and protect boundaries, and experience validation. This is easier said than done since most of us, beginning in early childhood, are taught to do the opposite. We learn to suppress our emotions, ignore our needs, create zero boundaries and never expect validation. Thankfully, we can unlearn those patterns and relearn healthier patterns.

As I learn to live in a way that fosters a healthy mind-body-soul, I find it gets easier with practice and feels more sustainable when I hear how other people are doing this. So I want to offer that to you. Here are a few ways I saw this play out in my life this week:

Convey Emotion + Validation + Meet Need:

Child: I am sooo sad that my friend got her feelings hurt. I just feel so bad. I wish that didn’t happen. I wish that kid didn’t do that to her.

Me: Oh man, that is so hard. I hear you. You are a good friend for caring so much about what happened to her. I would feel so sad if that happened to my friend too.

Child: I just want to see her and have a playdate with just me and her and I want to buy her a new toy since hers broke.

Me: Oh yeah, I get that. I can text her mom and see if we can do that this week.

(After several minutes of sobbing and sharing their pain about what happened to their friend, this child took a deep, shuddering breath, melted into a big hug from me and from their sister, dried their tears and joined the rest of the fam for a peaceful, lighthearted family night with pizza, popcorn and a movie.)

Boundaries + Meet Need:

Coworker: Oh man, he is messaging me questions and I’m trying to answer but I can’t answer those and focus on what we are working on at the same time.

Me: Oh yeah, I get that. Can you ask him to hold off and message you in an hour after we are done with this project?

Coworker: Oh yeah! Why didn’t I think of that? …He said that’s great. Wow, ok, now what were you saying about that paragraph?

Convey Emotion + Validation + Meet Need + Boundaries:

Child: I really, really want a phone.

Me: I hear that.

Child: I want to text my friends. My friends have phones. My older sibling has a phone.

Me: Oh yeah, I get that.

Child: (As tears well up in their eyes.) I’m just feeling sadness that my sibling gets a phone and I don’t get a phone. And I feel loneliness, I just want to text my friends and see my friends.

Me: Oh man, I hear that, that makes sense. We need to process this emotion first then we’ll talk about a plan.

Me: (Later that day) I see that it is hard for you to not have a phone right now. I see that you feel a lot of emotion about that. We know based on science that it is not ideal for kids your age to have a phone. It’s not ideal for your heart to carry that much responsibility right now and it’s not ideal for your brain development to carry a screen in your pocket. If you want to talk to your friends you can use my phone sometimes. And we can plan regular playdates so you can see your friends and connect with them that way.

Convey Emotion + Validation + Meet Need:

Me: I feel like a single parent sometimes. I feel loneliness and maybe a bit of hurt and anger about that. I need more support with meeting the kids’ needs.

Spouse: I hear you. How can I help with that?

Me: I need you to get up with the baby on Saturdays or Sundays. I need you to read to the younger kids at bedtime when you are home before they are asleep. And I need you to plan some Dad Dates so you can connect intentionally with each kid.

Spouse: Ok, I hear that. Good ideas. I can do that. Will you partner with me in making sure that happens?

Me: Yep. Thank you for hearing me. I will partner with you. Let’s make it happen.

When we consistently experience the pattern of convey emotion + validation + meet need + set and protect boundary, we literally rewire our nervous systems and create a life of healing + thriving.

Commit to practicing this pattern this week. I would love to hear about your experience.

With Love,

-Echo

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