We live in a culture in desperate need of relational healing. This includes healing our relationship with our Self.
Humans are born into this beautiful design of mind-body-soul connection. Our soul experiences the world through our body. Our body speaks to us through sensation and symptom. We can respond to our body by following our own energy and ensuring our needs are met. Our mind-body-soul thrives when connected, regarded and living interdependently with others.
As we relearn our inherent language of emotion and the lost art of following our own energy, our mind-body-soul experiences relational healing. As our mind-body-soul experiences relational healing we also learn how to deeply respond to, fully make space for and clearly see others, as well. This is important for our individual and collective relational healing.
There are a few sentences that can help us with this healing. We can say these sentences to our Self and to others. They are important, effective and, in many ways, an entirely different language than we have learned from our lives thus far.
I feel __________.
When we learn to identify, convey and regard what emotion we are experiencing, we empower our Self and others to process emotion. Processing emotion is necessary for health and thriving.
I need __________.
When we learn that emotions are messengers of need, when we learn to slow down, hear the emotion and learn what need it is conveying, we empower ourselves to heal and thrive.
Will you help me? We can ask our Self and the people with whom we are in safe relationship to hear our emotion, follow our energy and help us meet our needs.
Oooo, I hear you.
What’s happening with that?
How can I help?
I missed it.
Here are two examples of how this language can play out in our everyday lives:
Me: I feel lonely.
Friend: Oooo, I hear you. What’s happening with that?
Me: I spend most of my time with my kids, meeting their needs and caring for them. I need connection with other adults with whom I can relax and with whom I feel safe sharing my authentic self.
Friend: Oh yeah, I hear that. How can I help?
Me: Will you meet me for coffee this week?
Friend: Yes! I can do that.
Friend: I felt hurt and sad that you didn’t ask me to help you plan our friend’s baby shower.
Me: Oooo, I hear that. I missed that. What’s happening with that?
Friend: Well, when I saw the invitation I got hit with hurt and sadness and maybe some loneliness that I had not been included in the planning. And I lost some Identity, like maybe I’m not needed or wanted. But then I felt joy that I’m not needed for that and can just relax and enjoy the shower. I’ve been overwhelmed with extra responsibilities lately so I feel joy to not have another responsibility on my to do list.
Me: Oh yeah I get that. How can I help with that?
Friend: Just hearing me helps. Thank you for hearing me.
The more we use this language, slow down and respond to our Self and others with curiosity instead of judgement, the more we will empower our individual and collective healing.
Use these sentences this week. It would bring me joy to hear about your experience.