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Phyllis & Glenn’s Story

"We met at a summer camp in the Carolina mountains at age 15 and 16 in 1978, then married four years later. We were ill-prepared for marriage and our first five years were horrific, with continuous disconnection and pain."


How Connection Codes Started


I used to tell Phyllis, “I feel like I have a metal box in my chest, and you’re a magnet.” I was drawn to her, but the closer I got to her, the more it felt like my chest was going to explode and splatter my guts on the wall!

"I wanted to be with her, but I couldn’t stand being with her. For the record: This was a mutual feeling."



"I spent most of my time hurting and clueless as to why we were continually at odds. I liked Glenn and wanted to be with him, but the constant turmoil and pain were exhausting."

Our second five years were not great, but we got a little help along the way and slowly began turning a large ship. Simultaneously, as our relationship began to improve, our friends began divorcing.

We finally figured out what causes disconnection, and conversely, what causes connection.

Our passion for helping relationships did not begin with a business plan or mission statement but simply the desire to understand and help. After many years of questions, research, experience and education, we finally figured out what causes disconnection, and conversely what causes connection.


Eventually we understood, based on science, what causes people to disconnect. We then realized that the converse is what causes people to connect. This is what grew and morphed into what we now call the Connection Codes.

We always believed there had to be something better than the continuous pain of our early years.


We did not know we could experience such safety and joy, now that we're connected deeply every day.


That's why we're so excited to be sharing the Connection Codes around the world!

Ready to transform your relationships? 
Learn the tools and language to conquer conflict today.

Thousands of people have radically transformed their relationships using the Connection Codes.

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